"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you."
— Anne Lamott
“I can manage the meds, the appointments, the insurance forms… but ask me what’s for dinner and I’ll cry.”
A caregiver once said this to me during a routine home visit, and I could see the truth of it written all over her face.
But she wasn’t being dramatic, though.
She was just exhausted in a way that not even a good night’s sleep could fix.
I recognized that look because I’d worn it myself.
When I was caring for my mom during her cancer treatment, I could handle the big things:
Coordinating with doctors
Managing side effects
Helping her through the hard days.
All while juggling the demands of physical therapy school.
But by the end of the day…
Deciding something as simple as what to eat for dinner felt like scaling a 50-foot wall with a weighted vest.
My brain had simply run out of bandwidth
And if you’re a caregiver, you’re living in the thick of it.
Why Decision Fatigue Hits Caregivers So Hard
Decision fatigue happens when your brain’s capacity to make choices gets depleted from overuse.
Every decision (yes, even the tiny ones) draws on mental energy. And caregivers make hundreds of them daily:
Did they take their morning meds?
Should I call the doctor about this new symptom?
What if they fall while I’m in the shower?
Can I trust the aide we just hired?
What’s safe for them to eat?
Should I cancel my plans again?
These aren’t low-stakes choices.
You’re not picking paint colors or songs for your new playlist. You’re making calls that affect someone’s safety, health, and dignity.
That weight accumulates.
And over time, it doesn’t just make you tired.
It makes even simple choices feel impossible.
This isn’t weakness. It’s depletion.
Your brain is doing exactly what it’s designed to do after too many demands: it shuts down non-essential functions to protect itself.
The problem is, in caregiving, there are no non-essential functions.
How to Ease the Mental Load
You can’t eliminate decisions entirely. But you can reduce how many you face, and how much energy each one costs.
1. Simplify daily choices.
Create small defaults wherever possible: same breakfast every morning, a standing grocery list you reorder weekly, a few outfits you rotate without thinking.
The goal is to reduce friction and free up headspace for what truly matters.
2. Delegate the small stuff.
Let someone else handle refills or dinner pickup. If a sibling offers to help, give them something concrete: “Can you choose and order groceries this week?”
You don’t have to make every call yourself.
3. Use a written or digital system.
Keep all critical info in one place (e.g. medication schedules, doctor contacts, insurance details, care notes, etc).
When your brain doesn’t have to hold everything, it has room to breathe.
That space lets you think clearly again, and remember what actually matters most.
4. Delay non-essential decisions.
Not everything needs an answer today.
Give yourself permission to say, “I’ll think about that later.”
Some choices can wait. And waiting isn’t the same as avoiding.
You’re Not Failing. You’re Just Tired
If you’ve ever stood in front of an open refrigerator and felt paralyzed by choices, or cried because you couldn’t decide what to do next…
You’re not losing it.
You’re experiencing a normal physiological response to chronic cognitive overload.
Even machines need to reboot from time to time. So do you.
Decision fatigue isn’t a character flaw.
It’s a signal.
Your brain is telling you it needs rest, simplification, and support.
And the kindest thing you can do is listen.
You don’t have to be on all the time.
You don’t have to have all the answers right now.
Just keep breathing, keep showing up, and give yourself the same grace you’d offer anyone else carrying this much.
Weekly Resources
📘 Mayo Clinic: Stress Management — Tips to Relax and Recharge
Practical, evidence-based advice from Mayo Clinic on recognizing stress overload and using simple relaxation techniques to reset your mind and body.
💬 Family Caregiver Alliance: Taking Care of YOU — Self-Care for Family Caregivers
Clear, actionable steps for reducing caregiver stress and building sustainable self-care habits.
👉🏾 Your Turn
Do you ever hit a wall where even small choices feel impossible?
🗣️ Reply and share — your story might help another caregiver feel less alone.
With you,
Bryce
P.S. If you haven’t already, come join me on social.
I share daily tips, personal reflections, and first looks at upcoming caregiver tools and resources.
Even one post might shift your whole day, or remind you that you’re not alone in this.
